this is called procrastination

Meet the bean thread noodles that I cooked tonight. They were supposed to be a crispy topping for a pilaf rice dish I made but I kinda forgot how these noodles are to be prepared. Oops. We didn't eat them so I photographed them.
Taking this picture was me procrastinating on working-out, and now I'm procrastinating on some art that is due to be in a show next week. I've been saying that I'm desperate to work, but now, when I have my hands free, I'm refusing to go open the door to my studio. Maybe if I ignore it a little bit longer...
It doesn't surprise me that I'm doing this. I've done this for as long as I can remember. It got worse in college. For me, work is either hot or cold. I'm either conscienciously preparing, way in advance or I'm pushing it back as far as possible. It's just me. It's just how I do things. Frustrating for sure, and something that I want to improve upon. But... good things come out of procrastinating. The stress doesn't feel good, but it nudges me into the "right" place that I need to be to make it happen.
And finally, I'll head that way....just after I get myself a cafe con leche.

fireplace

Today, Marshall drew an amazing picture of our fireplace. Slightly to the left of center is the smoke, framed by bellowing flames. Below is the wood (sticks) which looks like a double-crossed "T" and below that are the three knobs (the ones that adjust the gas flames).
What I love about kids art... simplicity with unusual places of detail.

beautiful thanksgiving

I moved our dinning table into our living room, where the fireplace is. I closed our golden-colored curtains, lit candles and loaded a corner table with delightful food. Our feast included a 17 pound, Fosters and butter basted turkey with stuffing, the traditional green bean casserole, mashed potatoes and gravy, roasted vegetables, sweet potato casserole, rolls and a triad of salads. It was quite yummy!
Last night the idea struck me, to have our feast by firelight in our living room. I wanted it to be special and to remember in the coming year to live thankfully. I speak as if I am thankful, being polite with my words, but to really live thankfully, that doesn't come easy. It may come easier with the obvious things, but not in the monotonous, the challenging or the annoying.
I want to live in thankfulness.

what I didn't get for my birthday

I didn't get a recumbent cycle exercise machine for my birthday. An extra special "thank you" goes out to the men in my life who didn't gift THIS!
Would THIS have been better than NOTHING?
absolutely not!
Maybe it would help me shed those extra pounds, but I would HATE to get this as a gift. The message it would send is too horrible.
The story behind the box is this; we were at Marshall's gym class and they were unloading new exercise machines. So we asked for a box (one of the best kids toys ever). This morning we lit it up, and it's now our cow barn (complete with Hot Wheels cars for the "cows" to play with). Maybe we'll paint it so that I don't have to be reminded that I'm still not exercising.

this nineteenth day of this eleventh month

a whinny boy awoke
i wondered, "could it be a joke?"

boys were dressed and going
i felt my mind slowing

cereal sloshed
i begged, "could i get washed?"

"happy birthday, mama!"
i may, i wanna

eyes wide, mad and sad
i sighed, "please let me have..."

talking across the sea
"i am happy."

sometimes they're so unpleasant
i opened my first present

the boys play, smile and cry
i voice, "why?"

children bring insight, joy too
i delight, no longer thirty two

the battle for dino eggs

The kids were playing dinosaur at the museum today. There was another mama there with three boys and they were playing together with Marshall and Stewart. They were gathering and guarding their eggs which resulted in some very active play. I wouldn't have really given if much thought since no one was getting hurt and no one was being mean, but the other mama kept barking for her kids to share and stop being mean. So, I got down there with them, near their "nest" and directed some quiet encouragement to Marshall, saying something like, "you're doing exactly what the dinosaurs did... protecting their young". Lest you think that I was being an instigator, the boys were just growling at eachother and grabbing for the eggs, with the smallest bit of tame wrestling AND I didn't direct this comment towards her children.

After the next order came out, I assured the mom that she shouldn't worry about my kids and that I was ok with their play. She said that not sharing wasn't ok with her. I don't think I responded. (So you know, it wasn't a tense exchange.)

I couldn't figure out why she thought her kids were being mean, and I couldn't wait for them to leave so the imaginative play could continue without interruption. I felt like her standards of control were unreasonable. From my perspective, the boys were just pretending. The grabbing wasn't bully-ish or mean, it just seemed like a game. I was mystified. It was weird.

They continued to play until finally the mom said that they had better move on so that no one would get hurt. I was glad. Marshall and Stewart continued to play pretend dinosaur, growling, waving their dino claws and showing their terrific teeth.

my new favorite art

In my house, I am enjoying some new favorites. The kids and I gave three Kipp Normand peices to Mike for his birthday. They are each striking, but I particularly love these two that are framing some of Marshall's new art.

Enjoy it with me.