rolling with it

I find it so challenging to "roll with it". I get so caught up in my plans and what I want that any change or flexibility itself is something that throws me off. It's an area of weakness for me, something I've identified as a main reason that I become bitchy. So, I'm trying to losen-up, and give things up. It has to happen daily for me. A main reason that parenting has been so personally challenging for me is because now I must give up some of my "needs" to allow for my kids "needs" (and husband's too). This is hard!
So, why do I say this today? The story follows...
We started out this morning even though I wondered if the kids could handle it, but I pushed on. The kids, after all, were excited. We reached the corner and were waiting to flag down a taxi when Stewart decided to start peeling paint of the gate. I asked him not to, but he didn't acknowledge and then proceeded to eat the paint (or at least appear like he was eating the paint as I later found out). "We'll have to go later.", I said calmly and walked back to the guest house. Stewart threw a fit and began crying, a sure sign of the need for rest and not outing. We all took naps.
It was hardto give this up. I was trying TOO hard to make it work on my terms. Once I let it go (and after the kids rested) this realization occurred to me, Selfishness is always there. It's the same thing I'm always talking to Marshall about too, saying, "It's not all about you Marshall". I'm seeing that it can't always be my way and that in order to get along, I must see their needs and then roll with it. I factored into this trip a lot of "hanging-out" and down time, and am so happy when I see them playing their Leapsters whenever we're back at the room. This is their need right now, their way to rest and be familiar and good at something.
Later, we went to Colonial Quito, strolled about, took a little carriage ride around and went in an old gold-leafed church and watched the candles burn down. We ate a weak "seco de gallina" at a hole -in-the wall joint which Marshall called "fancy". A friendly kid approached Stewart and sprayed him with some foam stuff (smells like soap and cologne that kids spray along with water during this season of "Carnival"). Stewart cried but then came around when I bought him and Marshall some and they could defend themselves proudly. They plan a big fight with it tomorrow.
We taxied our way to "El Panecillo". It is a statue of the virgin of Quito and she sits on hill that looks over the city. The view is splendid. It seems like the city has doubled since I was here. It is sprawl, on every lot of hill or mountain they have built up. The city so vertical, sitting in a narrow valley that runs north to south, I suppose they had no other alternative.
Marshall seemed intriqued by the snake at the virgin's feet and how she has him chained. We were talkingabout its symbloism. He asked about the virgin and if she was higher than her son. I said that I didn't think so. He said, "but she is his mother." Then we got blue cotton candy and went on our way.